must meet the following criteria:
1. must be funny. i mean like really funny. a broad spectrum of dry wit and extreme silliness.
2. must be very attractive, but not act like yr shit don't stink because yr hot.
3. must own and actively ride at least one bicycle (cruisers will be tolerated, but you will catch scornful glares).
4. no vegans or vegetarians, carnivores preferred. i like to cook meat.
5. must enjoy food and drink with zeal.
6. no eating disorders
7. no bi-polars, manic depressives, or clinically insane girls. a little crazy is awesome, but not the "i stopped taking my meds and now i am going to stab you" crazy.
8. no smokers (a few fags at the bar is fine).
9. no stoners.
10. no hippies
11. no idiots.
12. must, must, must enjoy sex.
13. must have really good taste in music and movies (this is crucial).
14. must LOVE cats. allergics need not apply.
15. no runners. nothing personal, i just have extreme prejudice against running. don't ask why.
16. must be independent, but sweet.
17. must communicate.
18. a hatred of mayo would be ideal.
19. agnostic or atheist please.
20. must love bacon.
rules subject to change.
not currently accepting applications.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
the apprentice
i just finished reading the autobiography of this man
the world famous jacques pepin. it was a splendid book dating back to his boyhood during wartime in france. i highly recommend it. a fast enjoyable read.
the world famous jacques pepin. it was a splendid book dating back to his boyhood during wartime in france. i highly recommend it. a fast enjoyable read.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
weekend update.
boy do i love having the weekend off, but it usually coalesces into a wretched hangover by sunday. friday, i opened, took a 2 hour nap, then went to the grocery store for dinner fixins'. tara came over. i made a rosemary garlic crusted pork tenderloin topped with caramelized onions, mashed potatoes, and roasted asparagus. i had originally planned on braising the pork in a ginger-lime-brown sugar- garlic sauce, but i put soy sauce in the marinade, which contains wheat, which contains gluten, which tara is allergic to. dinner was good, the garlic burps were nasty though. i am not a fan of too much garlic like i used to be. i had too much wine of course. then we went to the chat room and got more loaded. went to go hang out at joseph's crib and played guitars. stayed up way too late.
after a few hours of sleep, got up feeling like appropriate hell. had the rahr brewery ride to attend. my friend jesse (a.k.a. jp tots, a.k.a. jesus, a.k.a. the abdominal slowman) came over around 11am. we rode to my store to meet lauren. grabbed some cash and we rolled out to panther city bicycles. met up with a decent number of riders.
a group took off without us, so we had to meet back up with them. hit the trails to 7th, rode downtown, took south main to the rahr brewery for free beer...the redrunkening.
my boy dave hooked me up with a free pint glass and proceeded to tank up on free ugly pug and stormcloud. the lines were deep. we stayed for long enough to get buzzed. lauren split off. joel, jeff, jesse, and i went to the saucer for food and more beer. a few other riders showed. we all got messy there. jeff got surly.
when we left, we decided to take the radio shack hill. i was trying to pull off a skid the whole way down, and i here jole go "God, Jeff!!!" we were all drunk, but jeff was really tanked. when i got to the bottom of the hill everyone looked alarmed, standing around staring at jeff's bike.
homeboy hit a patch of gravel and ate shit. he got some good road rash, and cracked/bent his rim. we called rowdy to come pick him and his bike up, jole caught a ride too. tots and i hit the trails decided to get one more beer at the hideaway. met up with tot's cousin deanna. drained our beers fast, i was supposed to meet up w/ my mum and sister to go to the movies. i was so tired. tots and i got back to my crib, as the fam pulled up. we went to the movie tavern on hulen. ordered a pitcher of beer, and found a seat. we went to see sweeney todd. as soon as i sat down, i felt like falling asleep. mum and layla ordered 2 bbq chicken pizzas and another pitcher. i only had one pint. i was done.
i can honestly say, i hated the movie. i like some musicals, but i was so annoyed by this movie, maybe it is just because i was so goddamned tired. i fell asleep like 4 times. on the way home my sister pissed me off, and i left the car abruptly when i got home. her tone at times really gets me, i was also very tired, drunk, cranky.
got home, took a bath, had some wine. put on the ice storm, talked to a few people, passed the fuck out around 11 or so.
i stayed in bed until like 1. i was sweaty and gross. felt like shit. had my mom pick me up. i brought the other tenderloin that had been soaking in the ginger lime bath for more than a day. cooked it up, reduced the marinade w/ stock to a sweet sticky glaze. served w/ a simple salad of baby romaine, grape tomatoes, parmesan cheese and a balsamic vinegarette, and a hunk of asiago cheese bread. yum.
i have to work @ 5am. hope i can sleep.
after a few hours of sleep, got up feeling like appropriate hell. had the rahr brewery ride to attend. my friend jesse (a.k.a. jp tots, a.k.a. jesus, a.k.a. the abdominal slowman) came over around 11am. we rode to my store to meet lauren. grabbed some cash and we rolled out to panther city bicycles. met up with a decent number of riders.
a group took off without us, so we had to meet back up with them. hit the trails to 7th, rode downtown, took south main to the rahr brewery for free beer...the redrunkening.
my boy dave hooked me up with a free pint glass and proceeded to tank up on free ugly pug and stormcloud. the lines were deep. we stayed for long enough to get buzzed. lauren split off. joel, jeff, jesse, and i went to the saucer for food and more beer. a few other riders showed. we all got messy there. jeff got surly.
when we left, we decided to take the radio shack hill. i was trying to pull off a skid the whole way down, and i here jole go "God, Jeff!!!" we were all drunk, but jeff was really tanked. when i got to the bottom of the hill everyone looked alarmed, standing around staring at jeff's bike.
homeboy hit a patch of gravel and ate shit. he got some good road rash, and cracked/bent his rim. we called rowdy to come pick him and his bike up, jole caught a ride too. tots and i hit the trails decided to get one more beer at the hideaway. met up with tot's cousin deanna. drained our beers fast, i was supposed to meet up w/ my mum and sister to go to the movies. i was so tired. tots and i got back to my crib, as the fam pulled up. we went to the movie tavern on hulen. ordered a pitcher of beer, and found a seat. we went to see sweeney todd. as soon as i sat down, i felt like falling asleep. mum and layla ordered 2 bbq chicken pizzas and another pitcher. i only had one pint. i was done.
i can honestly say, i hated the movie. i like some musicals, but i was so annoyed by this movie, maybe it is just because i was so goddamned tired. i fell asleep like 4 times. on the way home my sister pissed me off, and i left the car abruptly when i got home. her tone at times really gets me, i was also very tired, drunk, cranky.
got home, took a bath, had some wine. put on the ice storm, talked to a few people, passed the fuck out around 11 or so.
i stayed in bed until like 1. i was sweaty and gross. felt like shit. had my mom pick me up. i brought the other tenderloin that had been soaking in the ginger lime bath for more than a day. cooked it up, reduced the marinade w/ stock to a sweet sticky glaze. served w/ a simple salad of baby romaine, grape tomatoes, parmesan cheese and a balsamic vinegarette, and a hunk of asiago cheese bread. yum.
i have to work @ 5am. hope i can sleep.
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